July 20, 2010

Writer Blocked, Or Where I've Been for the Last Three Months

At first I thought I was too busy.

But I was just fooling myself.

Then I realized I was processing a lot of stuff, and simply couldn't find the words.

This was true for a while, but that reflective state ended some time ago.

Next came the frustration, brought on by demanding perfection from myself.

If I couldn't write a funny, inspiring, let's-all-go-adopt-an-orphan-and-donate-blood-and-then-have-apple-pie-together-afterward sort of post, why write at all? It was easier to just ignore Blogger and log in to Facebook instead. Or World of Warcraft. Or Hotmail. Or . . .

Gradually, the number of posts I wrote dwindled. 5 a month, 3 a month. Down the road came some more busy-ness.

It was legitimate this time.

And then the Lord began to speak to me about my heart. And the wee root of jealousy He saw growing there.

My blog isn't as popular as So-and-So's. I'm not as good a writer as you-know-who. So why blog at all?

The Still Small Voice continued to speak.

The deeper reason I haven't been blogging boiled down to issues of pride and obedience. Matters of the heart. Things that He wanted me to see. Things I'd masked and ignored.

Things that have kept me from a hobby I love.

Silly, really. But then, I can be quite silly sometimes.

So that's where I've been. Not so much writer's block as a writer blocked. But by God's grace, I think I'm starting to get un-stuck. Bloggie breaks are good for the soul now and then, but I'm happy to be tap-dancing on the keyboard once more. And actually, I have a whole slew of posts piled up, waiting to be written. There's been quite a lot going on around here these last few weeks: summer finally arrived, my (adopted) big sister came to visit for six days, another good friend from college came for two, and this week I'm volunteering at our church's VBS. Whew!

Life is busy. But life is good. :)

And it is good to be writing again.

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