October 21, 2008

Confessions of a Lonely Housewife

And now my friends, a list. A list of what I've done to pass the lonely hours without Jason. Ahem.

  • Let's start with housework. I know this will sound crazy, but hey! this post is titled confessions of a lonely housewife, right? So Confession #1: When I am stressed, worried, avoiding something or bored, I clean. Yep. Batty, I know. I clean for comfort. I find it very therapeutic. Except for bathrooms. I hate cleaning bathrooms. No matter how stressed I am, bathrooms get cleaned last. Dead last. If they get cleaned at all . . . but that's a confession for another post. Ahem. So yeah. . . the point of this entire paragraph is to say that my house is pretty clean at the moment. Even the bathrooms. Which is saying something (Not sure what it's saying exactly. Maybe something like "Jason had better come home soon because if I run out of things to clean, I'm going to go bonkers").

Next on the list is music, which is actually going to become a sublist all its own. I don't usually listen to a lot of music in the house. In the car, yes. In the house, not so much. Don't know why that is, but hey, we'll call that Confession #2. This week however, I have had music on constantly. I don't care for silence much and neither does Caleb. So here's what we've been enjoying:

  • Amy Grant's two Christmas albums "Home for Christmas" and "A Christmas Album." Classic music that I absolutely love, even if Halloween is still a week away.
  • A worship iTunes playlist I've been compiling for over a year now. Favorites include "Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee" arranged by Charlie Hall, "Strength Will Rise" by Brenton Brown, "The Blessing" by John Waller, and "You Never Let Go" by Matt Redman.
  • The soundtrack to Broadway's "Jekyll and Hyde." Yep, dusting off a dearly loved favorite. I blame this on my students, though. They are reading Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for class right now.
  • Music from the Apologetix band, the movie "Anastasia", Riverdance, Pirates of the Caribbean, swing music from Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, and Newsboys, which is all in my iPod and what I listen to at the gym.

Ok . . . other things I've filled my time with this week:

  • WoW (big surprise there, huh?)
  • Finding, diagnosing, and fixing car problems
  • Catching up on emails
  • Snuggle and tickle time with Caleb
  • Running various family members to the airport (I've been to Point Loma and back three times this week already, and will go once more to pick up Jason on Friday).
  • Teaching

Confession #3? I haven't really been that lonely, because I haven't had much time to be. Part of that was planned. Part of it wasn't. And I think the Lord had something to do with the unplanned stuff, because He knows I need to keep busy. Which brings me to Confession #4: I've been spending extra time with Jesus this week.

The real confession here is that while I am a follower of Christ and love Him with everything I am (at least I try to), I find it very hard to write about Him here on my blog without sounding preachy or self-righteous. And since those are the last two things in the world I want to come off sounding like, I just don't mention Him much around here at all. Which, of course, is not the best course of action either.

This is something Jesus has been tapping me on the shoulder about lately: not being afraid to be a Christian and to share my faith with the people around me. Oh sure, it's easy to do in Bible Study. We all thump our chests and exclaim how mighty and wonderful He is in rich, dulcet tones. But it's another matter entirely when I'm in a room full of Korean junior highers. They don't thump their chests about Jesus. In fact, they don't thump their chests about anything, unless it's over the latest hip hop album or American Idol wanna-be. And since they don't, I don't either. I don't relish looking like a crazed gorilla in front of them.

As for this blog, sure I can be silly and funny and entertaining when I write about Caleb's latest boo-boo, my she-woman award of the year for curtain hanging and such. But when I try to share what God's been teaching me, my words POOF! right off the computer screen. I can't think of anything to say that doesn't sound just plain stupid.

So I struggle.

During those extra times with Jesus, though, He's been encouraging me to work on this area of my life. I used to be content with just loving people like Jesus did. But now I'm starting to realize that love without Jesus is like cake without sugar: bland and useless. Jesus is the Lord of Love. If I love people, but don't ever tell them where that love comes from, what have I accomplished? Basically, I've just been a nice person. The world is already full of "nice people." If I want to be a true follower, I will give that glory to God. Instead of allowing people to see me as a nice person, I want them to see me as someone who loves them because God loves them. Because they are made in His image.

Does this make any sense?


Now you know why I shy away from blogging on spiritual issues. My words poof. Bye-bye words.

Anyway, last confession of the night. I'm no longer lonely, because I'm no longer alone. =) Dearest Natalie and her darling daughter have come to my rescue this week and are staying with me until Friday. And now that this post has become much longer than I originally intended, I feel I have been neglecting my guests (translation: Natalie is getting bored with her Veggie Tales movie and keeps coming out to the livingroom to see if I'm done). =) So now I'll bid you all adieu. Later, friends!


Candy said...

Hey Nicole! I'm soooooo feeling your pain.

I ran across your blog from a Donald Miller search, and your words inspire me. Great Blog!


Nicole said...

Hello Candy! Nice to *meet* you. =) I love Donald Miller's books. I've actually met him in person . . . great, funny guy. I'm glad you like my blog. Blessings to you!